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Medical Bills: So Crazy You’ve Got to Laugh

Paying for health care can be filled with unpleasant surprises that jack up your bills. Would you stand for that when buying anything else? Let’s see. One piping hot pizza made to order. That’ll be $89.50. What? Sorry, can’t do anything about it. Tony, your regular dough thrower, is not here today, so we had to bring in Craig. See, Craig isn’t on your approved list of pizza makers, so you’ll have to pay extra for his services. Don’t worry. He’s an artisan. We take paper, plastic, checks, or money orders. That’s crazy. Hey. Can I have a large pie with pepperoni, please? I’m sorry. We just updated our formulary list of toppings, and pepperoni isn’t on it anymore. If you want that, you’ll have to pay extra or pick something else. No. I want pepperoni. Hey, it’s your lucky day. How about Spam? Now that’s on the list. And it’s also a meat, I believe. That’s great.
I don’t want Spam. Spam? You said that before, and I still don’t want the Spam. I’m sorry, but we just negotiated a deal from a new ingredient provider. Didn’t you read the fine print in our monthly newsletter? That’s crazy. That’ll be $2. Thanks. Hey, can I get a plain slice too, please? That’ll be $10. She just paid $2. Yes, but you have a high-deductible pizza plan. So you’ll have to pay $100 in out of pocket pizza costs per individual and $500 per family before you get the discounted rate. Of course, if it’s a pizza emergency, we could probably work something out. In that case, you’ll just have to pay the difference between the in-network and out-of-network pizza makers charge. So you’ll only have to pay $4. You’re kidding me, right? Come on. It was all spelled out for you when you signed up for our pizza plan during pizza open enrollment season. That’s crazy. Yes. It is crazy. But it doesn’t have to be.