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Trump Is Officially the Fourth President to Face Impeachment

Let’s get to the news. Following this morning’s announcement, Trump is now the fourth president to face impeachment, which came as a surprise to Trump.

“Whoa! There have been four presidents?!” President Trump met with the Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs on the same day he’s being impeached. That is brazen. That’s like buying a boat and naming it “The Missing Wife.” “Wheel of Fortune” sidekick Vanna White this week started a three-week run as fill-in host, and, let me tell you, it is chaos in the nursing home!

“What is she doing?! Where’s Pat?!” President Trump’s campaign has released a line of LGBTQ Pride-themed merchandise, and then Mike Pence squinted so hard, his eyes healed over. KFC announced last week that it will begin selling a fireplace log that smells like fried chicken. Perfect if you’ve ever wondered what your dog would look like on fire.  According to a new report, “Liam” was the most popular baby name for boys this year. Tied for last — Lev and Igor.

A man in Asia recently proposed to a silicone sex doll, but if you ask me, he’s just using her.  A 9-year-old Belgian boy who was on track to become the world’s youngest college graduate has decided to drop out of school due to a dispute over his graduation date. And this is humiliating — he’s moving back in with his parents.

Officials in Las Vegas are searching for a person who has been placing miniature cowboy hats on the heads of pigeons. Hopefully to give them the key to the city!  And finally, McDonald’s in the U.K. is set to launch their first vegan meal next year. It’s a Happy Meal but only the toy.